


YouTube AU: Plant Tour

by softcalender



Series: YouTube AU [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, GoT inspired, Living Together, M/M, Plants, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Youtube AU, by phil lester, i just watched some random yt videos, plant fandom might hate me, vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softcalender/pseuds/softcalender
Summary: Kageyama likes houseplants.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: YouTube AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822618
Comments: 28
Kudos: 222





	YouTube AU: Plant Tour

> **TITLE: A tour of my plants (●´ω｀●)**

_Kageyama sat between two large plants in front of a white wall that has some abstract art hung half cut in the frames shot._

“Hey everyone and welcome back to TitanSports!" _Kageyama smacked the plants around him with worrying force. The frame zooms in on him, rightly distraught._

"Some of you may not know this but I love house plants. As you can see from the ones around me right now,” _he waves his arms around him awkwardly. Anxious in hitting the plants in the narrow space._  
“So today,” _Kageyama enunciates every syllable weirdly_ , “I am going to share with you my passion,” _the screen shakes in not-so-silent laughter_ , “for house plants.”

 _Kageyama is smiling at the camera man, “_ Is this a silly video to make?”

_The camera nods._

“We are doing it anyway,” _he claps his hands together._

“Since volleyball practise is cancelled and everyone liked my last vlog video, I thought I would try something new on this channel.”

_Cheesy confetti effect is thrown around the screen._

_"Let's go!"_

_Jump cut. Cut scene to a bright screen with the caption,_ “Let the Plant Tour Begin!” _in loud bold letters._

“First up is our two Dracaena, that are round me right now.”

_Kageyama sits in the middle of two towering plant. With bordering pine green pigmentation and a strip of light chartreuse in the middle of the leaves. Behind the camera, Tsukishima’s voice perks up._

“A Draacena Lisa to be exact.”

 _Kageyama nods along,_ “Yes, we were told this would be an easy going, low-maintenance plant but that was a cold lie.”

_Openly Tsukishima laughed behind the camera, muffling Kageyama’s rant slightly._

“-everyday I need to sprits it with water or it starts to dry up. But if I put to much water then it gets these odd yellow patches! There is no pleasing this plant!”

_Kageyama had frankly, the most adorable frown on his face._

“We can both relate to that.”

 _Kageyama smiles at Kei,_ “Yes both are very maintenance, but I love them both.”

_Jump Cut. Kageyama is standing next to a white shelf, it has a thin bonsai plant on it in a shiny black pot. Next to it volleyball awards line the shelf._

“Kei, I am realising we actually have a lot of high maintenance plants," _prompting a faint sigh from behind the camera._

“Anyway as soon as I brought them home they started getting crispy”

 _Kei half turned the camera to himself. You can see the top of his curly messy blonde hair,_ “Kageyama nearly cried trying to tend to it for the rest of the week.”

 _Turning the camera back Kageyama was shaking his head sadly,_ “Bonsai more like bon-why.”

_Jump Cut._

“Here is a terrarium one, we have a cute succulent in this. We keep it on our coffee table in our living room. Me and Kei went to a terrarium making workshop on a date once. And have been addicted ever since.”

“I was a reluctant participant but it’s actually quite fun. For this one we wanted it to match the house’s white aesthetics so its surrounded by nice white rocks.”

“I like it a lot. It’s a solid ten out of ten for me.”

_Jump Cut._

“Here is what is called a ‘zz plant.’ It’s very low maintenance but it’s absolutely taking over this room.”

“Yeah our living room is half this plant,”

_Said plant extended at least half a meter in radius, it's pot barely discernible under its thick branches._

_Jump Cut._

_Pans to a table delicately decorated, however the plants inside are either wilting or brown. A hexagonal terrarium is the centerpiece and on its left a drooping bonsai tree._  
_Behind the camera, Tsukishima commented,_ “This would aesthetic if it wasn’t dead.”

 _Kageyama forehead wrinkled as he tried to justify himself,_ “I really don’t know what happened to this!” _He picked up the pot,_ “It started to yellow a while ago so that meant we were overwatering it, and then crispy cause we were under-watering,” _looking at the camera with a tired look_ , “in conclusion f(BEEP) bonsai’s.”

_Kei’s chuckle behind the camera was cut short by a jump cut._

“Here is what’s called a snake plant! I really love this in the entryway of the house because it looks cool and has also been shown to filter out chemicals, like benzene, formaldehyde, trichloroethylene, xylene, and toluene.”

“I told him that.”

 _Kageyama rolls his eyes,_ “Everytime we have a new guest over we mention this. It’s good small talk.”

“Kuroo is such a nerd, he corrected us when we accidentally told him Styrene instead of xylene."

_Jump Cut._

“This can only be described as the most basic houseplant ever.”

“Yeah I don’t even know the name for it, it’s that irrelevant.”

_Kageyama twisted the cubicle plant around on its place. The thin stems swayed gently. They had it placed the pothos at the bottom of the stair’s shelf._

_Suddenly chuckling Tobio said,_ “There is going to be some fighting in the comments over this plant. I can feel it.” _Kei turned to camera to himself,_ “Sorry to the plant fandom.”

_Jump cut._

_They were in the kitchen in front of a fridge with some phallic succulents attached in colourful little magnetics pots._

“I almost completely forgot about these but these have been on our fridge for ages.”

_There is a moment of silence where Kageyama seems to become pensive._

“Which would you rather sit on?”

 _Silence_.

 _Kageyama laughs embarrassed,_ “You know I didn’t mean it that way! I just meant it as a would you rather-”

_Kei didn’t even dignify that with a response._

_Jump Cut._

“Here is my favourite plant because well it is gorgeous and Kei got this for me after my team won an important volleyball game last year.”

 _Said plant was rosette of leathery, sword-shaped leaves. With glossy green and banded white petals arranged in spirals. A Pandanus veitchii. Behind the camera Kei remarked,_ “We are so romantic.”

 _Kageyama shrugged, catching his meaning,_ “You know this would mean the most to me.”

“True.”

“Alright, let’s head outside.”

_Jump cut._

“Here is the nicest smelling flower, the spider lilies.”

_A tubular flower that opened into a normal-looking white flower. From the edges of the flower, several narrow tepals arch down for several inches around the plant, giving it the spider-like quality._

“Fun-fact i stole this from the sports centre grounds.”

“You are going to JAIL.”

“Oops.”

_Jump Cut._

“Here is the elegant ‘Broadleaf Lady Palm.' She is slender and has this saw-toothed appearance which is quite aesthetic.

“You see this in like a office reception.”

“Don’t laugh at me Kei!”

_Jump cut._

“Here is the final one, an areca palm! Really love this one cause I got it when we first moved into this apartment together.”

“We really only bought a couch, a bed, our clothes and this silly pant on the first night.”

 _Kageyama looks behind the camera fondly,_ “We did.”

_Jump cut. Kageyama was back between the two houseplants from the first clip._

“That concludes the plant tour! I don’t usually create content like this but as a change I wanted to make a light hearted video in these uncertain times. Hope you enjoyed, like, subscribe and I will see you in the next one, ba-bye.”

Blank screen.

A bubble appeared linking Kei's channel on the left on the right a link to Kageyama's day in the life video appeared.

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2,031 Comments

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Add a public comment

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**keifantom:**

**love seeing this side of you! hope you continue to post more videos about your other hobbies**

**bluebirdstar:**

**i NEED to hear more about the terrarium date hello??**

**Fulanchi:**

**Pothos enthusiast's can fuck off,, literally that plant is the bathroom plant and thats all it will ever be thank you for coming to my ted talk.**

Liked Comment

**Kagetsukki:**

**IMAGINE KNOWING SOMEONE SO WELL THAT YOU KNOW THAT THEY WOULD WANT ONLY A SPECIFIC TYPE OF PLANT TO CELEBRATE THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS UWU S.O. SHIT RN**

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like Kageyama would really like plants for some reason and so do i so here you go  
> also i was a huge fan of dan n phil when i was younger and this one phil video where he gives us a plant tour always made me smile :D hope you have a great week and stay safe quarantining!


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